Session Seven
(pages 170-231, July 1942 - October 1942, Amsterdam and Westerbork)
“We must just be.”
Etty has discovered, or rather, been given the gift of the discovery of her True Self. That silent center within where she and God are not other than each other. The “immortal diamond” of her own soul that is not at her or the Nazi’s disposal. She touches and comes from that place with more frequency and she is clear that joy is the vivid realization that nothing needs to be added to the moment no matter what the circumstances to make the moment complete. She feels free in spite of the increased restrictions, and she finds life both beautiful and meaningful. She is awake.
And all that being said Etty continues, like all humans, to dip down into despair, heartache, and fear from time to time. All the while, her perspective continues to widen to cosmic proportions. I.e. her list on 172 of: Hitler, Ivan the terrible, the next war, earthquake, famine…come what will she writes our job is to keep “a small corner of one’s soul unsullied, come what may.”
She wonders if her perspective will hold once she’s called up to head off to the transit camp and then beyond.
Her friends are begging her, trying every which way to persuade her to go into hiding. She refuses and thwarts their efforts at every turn. “I don’t feel I’m in their (the Nazis) clutches anyway.” She is obstinate and steadfast in her refusal to be cowed or have her spirits dimmed by the Germans and the impending doom of her people. If thousands of others have to go down to their death why should she escape? She will go down into the valley along with all the rest.
She has been recommended to be a part of the Jewish Council.
Page 179 - Her enlightenment flashes with brilliance - “Dear God, don’t let me waste even one atom of my strength on petty material cares.” and “The jasmine behind my house has been completely ruined by the rains….but somewhere inside me the jasmine continues to blossom undisturbed.”
Middle of 183 - Etty gives voice to something that the mystics have long taught: a prayer life and inner work is essential and pays great dividends when one is faced with great suffering and one’s own death. “The greatest cause of suffering…is one’s utter lack of inner preparation.”
Etty was given a job with the Jewish Council on July 15, 1942
One week later Etty volunteered for deportation to Westerbork. As she says goodbye to her friends she struggles and feels sad, but she presses on. Her depression comes and goes.
On Sept. 15, 1942 S. suddenly became ill and died. Etty was given leave to come back to Amsterdam from Westerbork. She was sick when she arrived and stay for over a month.
Another bloom radiating from her enlightened Self - “I now realize, God, how much have given me. So much that was beautiful and so much that was hard to bear. Yet whenever I showed myself ready to bear it, the hard was directly transformed into the beautiful.”
Etty has arrived….she is a clear conduit of the most lucid love imaginable. “I see no alternative, each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. And remember every atom of hate we add to this world makes it still more inhospitable.”
Page 224 - “It is our complete destruction that they want, but let us bear it with grace.”
The end of her diary is a simple conclusion - “We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds.” Like all the mystic saints, Etty ends by essentially saying, How can I be helpful?