Process over Product
I grew up in the home of a piano teacher. Every day after school my mother taught lessons in our living room. Music was a beautiful part of my home and church life for as long as I can remember, yet something changed about my experience of piano music when I began to take lessons from my mother.
The recitals on stage were not disastrous but they were not fun either. There was little joy in striving for a perfect finished product to be judged by others. And on top of that, practicing was a struggle. My mother would, of course, hear me making mistakes and offer suggestions. Before long even practice began to feel like a performance. Then in fourth grade, I told her that I wanted to study ballet.
My gracious mother gave me a wonderful gift. She rearranged her teaching schedule to drive me to dance class. She even had a ballet barre and mirror installed in our basement so I could dance to my heart’s content without an audience. There was no agenda or evaluation or even an end product. Pure joy! I was free to lose myself for hours in the process of creating a dance to music for the pure pleasure of it.
This experience of my childhood reminds me of Rebecca Nye’s suggestion that process is an important criteria through which we can view our environment with children. She wisely reminds us that “spiritual life is an on-going piece of work not something to be completed or get prizes for. Prayer and worship are spiritual processes, not ends in themselves…Similarly, childhood deserves to be treated as a process rather than a production line for delivering adults or Christians.” *
What does this look like as we interact with children at home and church?
I wonder if we might:
Slow down and allow margins around activities to simply ”be” and notice what is life-giving and what is life-draining about our routines and lifestyle.
Offer time and space for children to create and play without an audience, performance or end product in mind.
Welcome questions without anxiety that we have to have all the answers. Remembering questions can lead to creative thinking and serve to open up mystery, curiosity and problem solving.
To value process over productivity is truly countercultural and yet, we know it is a key to cultivating a healthy environment for spiritual growth for our children and adults alike.
Will you join me in lifting up process over product this summer? Let’s see how it might change us into more loving people.
With Wonder and Anticipation,
Cynthia
(*From Children’s Spirituality: What it Is and Why It Matters, p.46-47)
